“Happy Pills”

one of the major problems with my recovery from my strokes have been the anxiety of thinking I am going to have an other one, and the lack of sleep that I am getting.  First I should explain that when I experienced my strokes it was six-thirty A.M. and all I was doing was turning from one side of the bed to the other to cuddle into my wife for the last half-hour before going to work and bam! I was hit with the biggest VERTIGO feeling I ever had.  It then followed with my speech getting weird.  It didn’t slow down it just sounded off.  I guess during that flip I tore the left artery in my neck and I had some bleeding on the brain that caused my two strokes.

    That was one of my biggest fits of anxiety.  After the week long visit in the hospital, I came home.  Now to face the bed.  I tried one night but just couldn’t do it.   I ended waking up every hour and turning over like Frankenstein.  I would physically rise out of bed turn my self and then re-lower myself. 

   After that I ended up sleeping on the sofa, which thankfully we had just purchased a new one a week before that has a chaise(sp?) lounge with it.  So this meant that I could stretch out and leave my neck in one position.  What I didn’t realize was that I would be spending the next month on the sofa.  I started thinking my wife must be loving having our entire bed to herself until she cuddled up to me one night on the sofa and said she missed my body beside hers.

     That was it,  I needed to find a way to get back into bed and quick, so I spoke with my Doctor and he suggested that I could be put on  short term Anxiety pilled called CLONAZEPAM.  He wrote me a prescription, and I was off only one problem,  I was scared shitless to take them.  Here I am trying to get my brain right, and now I am going to be talking something that was going to alter it.  

    I sat on the prescription for over a week until I saw my Neurologist.  After explaining that they would be perfectly fine and might actually help me I decided to give them ago.  It’s been three weeks now with me taking them and I have been sleeping in our bed for just about the entire three weeks.  They have also helped with the anxiety of thinking that I am going to have a stroke at any time. What I was worried about was that taking them they would put me in a fog like state and I wouldn’t really be me.  What has happened is that it just mellowed me.  I am relaxed.  I don’t stress over some of the little things. 


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